Kod

Ada sesetengah benda yang kita amalkan boleh dikira sebagai kod atau tradisi tidak bertulis. Sebagai contoh, menyalakan lampu tinggi kepada kereta dari berlawanan arah untuk memberitahu ada polis menanti di hadapan, atau menepuk-nepuk meja tanda bersetuju di dalam parlimen, macam beruk.

Ini berkait dengan satu peristiwa di suatu petang ketika aku sedang memandu di lebuh raya. Aku sedang memandu seorang diri tetapi di atas jalan ada dua kereta yang dipandu kawan-kawan. Kami sebenarnya baru pulang dari rumah seorang kawan dan telah berkonvoi semasa keluar dari kawasan rumah itu kerana tidak familiar. Namun seperti biasa, selepas memasuki jalan yang familiar, aku telah memotong kawan aku yang mengepalai konvoi pendek itu tadi.

Dalam beberapa susur keluar sebelum penghujung lebuh raya aku dapati kawan yang mengepalai konvoi pendek tadi berada di sebelah kiri seperti mahu berlumba. Apabila menoleh aku terlihat dia membuat isyarat tangan yang tak berapa jelas, kerana langit pada waktu itu sudah mulai gelap.

Di sinilah kaitannya. Ini dipanggil kod tak bertulis isyrat tangan di lebuh raya. Ada satu kod sebenarnya, di kalangan lelaki terutamanya, iaitu sewaktu berkonvoi, apabila kereta melepasi satu sama lain, penumpang di kedua-dua buah kereta akan berbalas isyarat tangan. Pada kebiasannya isyarat-isyarat lucah. Paling tidak pun, membuat isyarat tangan seperti mahu ajak bertumbuk. Kod-nya ialah, jika kereta kawan di sebelah mula memberi isyarat tangan, kau hendaklah melayani dengan memberi isyarat tangan juga.

Cuma aku agak terkejut apabila kawan aku tadi memberi isyarat tangan kepada aku. Konvoi kami terlalu pendek untuk bermain berbalas isyarat tangan, dan kami juga mungkin sudah mencapai umur yang sudah tidak lagi wajib untuk mengamalkan permainan berbalas isyarat tangan ini.

Apapun, kod tetap kod. Aku tak berapa pasti apa isyarat yang diberikan waktu itu tetapi aku tetap membalas, dengan isyarat penumbuk. Kau tak boleh biarkan kawan kau memberi isyarat tangan tidak berbalas. Setelah memberi isyarat penumbuk aku ketawa dan memecut meninggalkan keretanya sekali lagi.

Walaupun sedikit terhibur, tetapi sebenarnya lebih seronok kalau ada kawan ramai-ramai dalam kereta.

Sejenak kemudian, kawan aku lagi sekali lagi berada di sebelah kiri aku, masih dengan isyarat tangannya. Berasa pelik, aku perhatikan betul-betul isyarat tangannya kali ini. Rupa-rupanya dia menyuruh aku untuk keluar di susur seterusnya dan bukan penghujung lebuh raya untuk elak trafik.

Nasib baik takde orang lain dalam kereta.

Tribute to Danny Stiles

Sometime in 2012, I discovered a radio show called The Music Museum on WNYC AM. I heard it through the internet. I've been listening to internet radio since early 2000. There is something about listening to something foreign that intrigues me. But WNYC is not an internet radio. It is an actual radio channel from New York, amidst thousands of radio channels being broadcast in the internet during that time.

I stumbled upon WNYC while browsing for random radio channels in New York using the TuneIn app (which is a great app) and was somehow hooked. Particularly, I was listening to show on WNYC FM called The Great American Songbook, hosted by one Jonathan Schwartz.

Not knowing there is another WNYC channel in the AM version, I stumbled upon another show called The Danny Stiles Music Museum. It was a two-hour long program consisting of songs from the swing era from Danny's own collection of 200 thousand vinyl. Yes, vinyl. And that made it so special. Most of the time you can hear scratchy sounds from the music he plays.

The show aired every Sunday 9am (Malaysian time) which is equivalent to Saturday 9pm in New York. Every Sunday morning I would 'religiously' listen to and record his shows using the paid version of TuneIn (just to show how obsessed I was about the show). Sometimes I would even sacrifice my 3G data to stream and record his program if I happen to be outside.

My favourite part of his show is the self-proclaimed titles that he would announce almost in every show. For the past few months, I've been listening to all of his shows that I managed to record, taking note all of the titles he uttered. These titles have always had me in stitches. They were mostly alliterations, which means a series of words with the same sounding first consonant or the same first letter.

Before that, I am here to proclaim something myself. I am probably the only person in the whole internet to have made a list of these titles.

The first and somewhat official title that he would say every time is The Vicar of Vintage Vinyl.
Then he will follow with the sentence "or sometimes referred to by (insert name) as your.."

1. Carefree Collector of Caressable Chords
2. Pontificating Purveyor of Past Popular Pristine Platters
3. Super Spinner of Supremely Savoured Salivating Selections
4. Learned Legislator of Labyrinthian Lyrics
5. Retro Raconteur of Rotating Recycled Rhythms
6. Duke of Dastardly Dusty Discs
7. Doctor of Archaeological Discology
8. Righteous Raja of Raucous Retro Record Relics
9. Presenter of Perpetual Past Popular Pearls and Platters
10. Dedicated Dispenser of Dreamy Discology
11. Wizard of Waxings the Way We Were
12. Gargantuan Generator of Genial Jocularity
13. Magnanimous Messenger of Marvelous Miraculous Memories
14. Gracious Guru of Golden Gramophones
15. Maverick Maestro of Musical Memories
16. Courageous Courier of Convivial Cudos
17. Indispensable Identifier of Irreplaceable Imagery
18. Entertainer of Exquisite Examples of Elevated Enjoyment
19. Loquacious Lionizer of Long Lost Lemonades
20. Erudite Emcee of Euphonious Esoterica

Danny died on March 2011. What I have been listening to were actually archives ranging from 2004-2010. I was a little too late to start listening though, or I might have sent him e-mails. Earlier this year in March, WNYC stopped airing his archived shows. I was devastated but luckily I still have a number of his recorded shows on my iPod

And I still listen to him from an online streaming of his Music Museum archives on his website DannyStiles.com.

At the end of every show, Danny would play 'Goodnight, My Love' by Shirley Temple followed by 'I'll Never Have to Dream Again' by Connee Boswell. Every time. And every time at the very end he would say "Goodnight sweet Barbara". Barbara was Danny's late wife.

Well then, goodnight ole Danny.


P/S: Besides most probably being the only one to have a list of Danny Stiles' self proclaimed titles on the internet, I also wonder if there are any Malaysian who listened to his shows. Chances are scarce but here I am. So I will write these down as the keywords: WNYC, Danny Stiles, Malaysia.

Berckap Dengan Opah 4

Sewaktu rutin pagi hujung minggu di mana aku akan memposisikan semula opah dari baring kepada duduk, aku perasan sesuatu kelainan. Gaya opah bercakap agak lain. Dalam 2 minit juga perhati opah betul-betul sebelum menyedari gigi opah hilang. Gigi depan atas.

Aku tidak ingat sudah berapa lama opah mula memakai gigi palsu. Barangkali sepanjang hidup aku, atau mungkin lebih. Ini bukan pertama kali giginya hilang. Dulu pernah sekali dia sengaja membuang giginya, yang mana aku jumpa di celah-celah bantal yang selambak di atas katilnya.

Aku pun mula mencari giginya di atas katil, di bawah bantal, di celah-celah tilam tanpa menemui kejayaan.

"Mana pergi gigi (o)pah?", aku bertanya.

"Hilang"

"Macam mana boleh hilang?"

"Entah la, adat sekarang"

Tak tahu pula aku ada adat hilang gigi sekarang ni.