The moment I open the door, I was taken aback, literally. I trembled. I felt like the earth under me was vibrating in a certain frequency which would prevent humans, like us, to walk normally. I walked in reverse and got the hell out immediately.
It was a horrific sight. As cliched as it may sound, it was not a sight for sore eyes, or for the faint-hearted. Somehow I felt cold, and I thought maybe my face had just turned pale. But there wasn't any mirror around so I can't confirm this. How could someone do something like that? Has the world gone crazy?
Azlan was in there somewhere, I'm not sure if he'd seen it. I wasn't sure if I should report this, or just leave it there till someone else finds it.
Inside the car both of us kept quiet. I wanted to ask him about it but Ila was at the back munching on some tid bits she got from a previous wedding. The usual stuff, you know, some cakes, sweets and jellos. In some cultures, bringing up a discussion like this while someone is eating, is considered rude, very rude. So we talked about other stuff instead; television, old friends and organic trampolines. Azlan seemed calm and collected throughout the journey. It was as if if nothing had happened. What a sadist!
Later that day, Azlan finally broke the locks. Apparently, he did see it.
"Did you see what I saw just now?", he asked me, and chuckled.
He freaking chuckled!! I can't imagine how someone could chuckle at the sight of.. uh.. when someone didn't flush!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Backtracks of 2009
2009 was a wonderful journey. Most memorable would be my travels during these 365 days.
January :
1) Tanjung Harapan, Port Klang.
- New year got off to a different start as commonly celebrated. There were fireworks indeed, just by the Batu 3 highway. Made ourselves to Port Klang to have our first meal of 2009 at a seafood restaurant. Participants: Lodeh, Pet, Ila, Jen, Kak Rok.
2) Bandung, Indonesia
- My uncle decided to marry a Sundanese from Bandung. As the closest family members, three of us went to represent the groom's family, besides, the groom's son himself. Ehehe. Participants : My mother, my brother.
February :
1) Pertak, kuala Kubu Bharu
- A mini journey to the Pertak waterfalls, the one Bulu had been telling stories of for morethan three years. Participants: Bulu, Dugong, Pet, Ila, Lodeh, Cikut, Zeti, Ina, Mat Dusun, Ayut.
March :
1) Sitiawan, Perak.
- A weekend trip to Mat Dusun's hometown in Sitiawan, Perak. The journey would involve playing cards in the middle of a waterfront, an afternoon swim in the waters of Teluk Senangin, a one and a half hour drive to Kuala Sepetang just for a bowl of overrated prawn noodles, and of course, mentarangs. Participants : Mat Dusun, Bulu, Effa, Jen, Kak Rok, Ancak, Bai.
May :
1) Melaka
- Just a week before the main event, Redang, five of us went to Melaka, staying at Lodeh's house. Met up with Dugong, a self-proclaimed Malaccan for three weeks, and we just walk ourselves around the city of Malacca. It was somekind of a preparation for the main journey. Morevoer, lodeh just bought a brang new Lubitel. Participants: Lodeh, Pet, Jen, Kak Rok.
2) Redang aka (RAKA)
- The main event, planned since the fourth quarter of 2008. Involving 16 of us, it was sure a headache for organizers me and Kak Rok, but was hell of a remedy too. Besides the compulsory snorkeling, went for squid jigging which was not everyone's cup of tea. Well almost not everyone's. This trip holds the record for the most vomits in a single trip. Participants: Jen, Kak Rok, Pet, Ila, Bai, Dugong, Bulu Pujek, Lin, Emi, Elma, Putat, Lodeh, Sinah, Popo.
July
1) Taman Tas, Kuantan, Pahang
- Wasn't really sure about the true nature of this trip. Probably we were just tagging along Pet's ritual balik kampung, besides attending Umi's wedding. It was also Ilah's second time to Kuantan, if I'm not mistaken. Syahir and Dirah was there too. And it was Dirah's weekly balik kampung. Went to swim for the second time at Balok, only to regret it later. Ate seafood at Tanjung Lumpur and had some kopi ayah peng at Emi's hometown, Kemaman.
August
1) FRIM, Kepong, Selangor
- Well, it was supposed to be a breeze walk according to mastermind Syahir. Just like a walk in the Lake Gardens, he texted me. Even in the text message I could sense a discomforting vibe of deceit. Squeezed out half of my life climbing up hills, walking through hanging bridges. Good Sunday morning activity though. Participants: Syahir, Dirah, Tompel, Shaz, Yong Shi Qim and Jedai.
October
1) Bandung, Indonesia
-Another big event in the travelling journal. Revisited Tangkuban Parahu which ended in a hilarious twist. Went to Kampung Daun, did some shopping, but were more excited with photogaphy. Participants: Pejai, Syeh, Hazami, Aiman.
November
1) Lumut, Perak
- APS Family Day this was held at Lumut's Swiss Garden Resort. Had an exciting event, with almost 60 of us wreaking havoc, well, mostly with our voices during karoke night. Participants: That 60 people.
December
1) Maldives
- Met some important, friendly locals, drank black tea, got sucked in by a Trong patch, had shower in a stranger's house, boarded a submarine and got followed by a freak. Summing this trip with the former sentence would be an understatement. This may not be a usuaal Maldivian holiday, but hell I could say that it was a true Maldivian experience. Participants: Jen, Kak rok, Elma
January :
1) Tanjung Harapan, Port Klang.
- New year got off to a different start as commonly celebrated. There were fireworks indeed, just by the Batu 3 highway. Made ourselves to Port Klang to have our first meal of 2009 at a seafood restaurant. Participants: Lodeh, Pet, Ila, Jen, Kak Rok.
2) Bandung, Indonesia
- My uncle decided to marry a Sundanese from Bandung. As the closest family members, three of us went to represent the groom's family, besides, the groom's son himself. Ehehe. Participants : My mother, my brother.
February :
1) Pertak, kuala Kubu Bharu
- A mini journey to the Pertak waterfalls, the one Bulu had been telling stories of for morethan three years. Participants: Bulu, Dugong, Pet, Ila, Lodeh, Cikut, Zeti, Ina, Mat Dusun, Ayut.
March :
1) Sitiawan, Perak.
- A weekend trip to Mat Dusun's hometown in Sitiawan, Perak. The journey would involve playing cards in the middle of a waterfront, an afternoon swim in the waters of Teluk Senangin, a one and a half hour drive to Kuala Sepetang just for a bowl of overrated prawn noodles, and of course, mentarangs. Participants : Mat Dusun, Bulu, Effa, Jen, Kak Rok, Ancak, Bai.
May :
1) Melaka
- Just a week before the main event, Redang, five of us went to Melaka, staying at Lodeh's house. Met up with Dugong, a self-proclaimed Malaccan for three weeks, and we just walk ourselves around the city of Malacca. It was somekind of a preparation for the main journey. Morevoer, lodeh just bought a brang new Lubitel. Participants: Lodeh, Pet, Jen, Kak Rok.
2) Redang aka (RAKA)
- The main event, planned since the fourth quarter of 2008. Involving 16 of us, it was sure a headache for organizers me and Kak Rok, but was hell of a remedy too. Besides the compulsory snorkeling, went for squid jigging which was not everyone's cup of tea. Well almost not everyone's. This trip holds the record for the most vomits in a single trip. Participants: Jen, Kak Rok, Pet, Ila, Bai, Dugong, Bulu Pujek, Lin, Emi, Elma, Putat, Lodeh, Sinah, Popo.
July
1) Taman Tas, Kuantan, Pahang
- Wasn't really sure about the true nature of this trip. Probably we were just tagging along Pet's ritual balik kampung, besides attending Umi's wedding. It was also Ilah's second time to Kuantan, if I'm not mistaken. Syahir and Dirah was there too. And it was Dirah's weekly balik kampung. Went to swim for the second time at Balok, only to regret it later. Ate seafood at Tanjung Lumpur and had some kopi ayah peng at Emi's hometown, Kemaman.
August
1) FRIM, Kepong, Selangor
- Well, it was supposed to be a breeze walk according to mastermind Syahir. Just like a walk in the Lake Gardens, he texted me. Even in the text message I could sense a discomforting vibe of deceit. Squeezed out half of my life climbing up hills, walking through hanging bridges. Good Sunday morning activity though. Participants: Syahir, Dirah, Tompel, Shaz, Yong Shi Qim and Jedai.
October
1) Bandung, Indonesia
-Another big event in the travelling journal. Revisited Tangkuban Parahu which ended in a hilarious twist. Went to Kampung Daun, did some shopping, but were more excited with photogaphy. Participants: Pejai, Syeh, Hazami, Aiman.
November
1) Lumut, Perak
- APS Family Day this was held at Lumut's Swiss Garden Resort. Had an exciting event, with almost 60 of us wreaking havoc, well, mostly with our voices during karoke night. Participants: That 60 people.
December
1) Maldives
- Met some important, friendly locals, drank black tea, got sucked in by a Trong patch, had shower in a stranger's house, boarded a submarine and got followed by a freak. Summing this trip with the former sentence would be an understatement. This may not be a usuaal Maldivian holiday, but hell I could say that it was a true Maldivian experience. Participants: Jen, Kak rok, Elma
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Kisah salesman di bandar Male'
Seorang salesman cuba untuk menjual barangannya di sebuah rumah agam, tetapi tidak berjaya. Apa yang dia tidak tahu ialah rumah itu adalah kediaman rasmi Presiden Maldives.
Jadi dia cuba menahan beberapa bot yang lalu lalang di situ untuk cuba menjual barangannya. Sebaliknya, pemilik-pemilik bot disitu pula menawarkan salesman ini pengangkutan ke Pulau Huluhule dengan bayaran 1 dollar sekali pergi.
Memandangkan hal ini salesman itu terus menaiki bot dengan tambang 1 dollar ke pulau Huluhule kerana dengar cerita di situ wi-fi percuma.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Kepantangan
Fizani baru sahaja selesai menyusun barang di bilik rumah sewa barunya apabila Zairol mengajaknya bersembang di ruang tamu. Zairol merupakan antara perintis dalam pembukaan rumah sewa itu. Atau lebih sesuai pangsapuri sewa. Termasuk Fizani, kini sudah ada 4 orang penghuni di pangsapuri sewa yang terletak di Desa Petaling itu.
Zairol mula bersembang dengan bertanya perihal Fizani yakni, pekerjaan, pelajaran dan peleseran. Dia kemudiannya bercerita tentang bagaimana dia menemui tempat ini bersama 2 orang penyewa yang lain, Maliki dan Amin. Bagaimana tempat ini berubah berbanding 2 tahun lalu, walaupun tidak begitu signifikan sebenarnya.
Arah perbualan itu seperti dapat dikesan Fizani apabila merasakan corak penceritaannya daripada aktiviti dan prinsip mereka, Zairol seolah-olah cuba memberitahu bahawa mereka bertiga adalah dari kalangan yang baik-baik dan berdisiplin kuat. Ia seperti satu amaran halus buat pendatang baru Fizani agar tidak menganggu ekosistem sempurna di pangsapuri sewa itu.
"Ada dua kepantangan mak aku", Zairol dengan tiba-tiba menceritakan kepantangan ibunya sambil menunjukkan jari telunjuk dan jari tengah nya. "Pertama, bawak perempuan naik atas. Kedua, nangka."
"Nangka?", soal Fizani kehairanan. Kalau yang pertama itu faham jugalah dia.
"Angin. Tak tahan dia. Seulas pun mau demam 2 hari."
Zairol mula bersembang dengan bertanya perihal Fizani yakni, pekerjaan, pelajaran dan peleseran. Dia kemudiannya bercerita tentang bagaimana dia menemui tempat ini bersama 2 orang penyewa yang lain, Maliki dan Amin. Bagaimana tempat ini berubah berbanding 2 tahun lalu, walaupun tidak begitu signifikan sebenarnya.
Arah perbualan itu seperti dapat dikesan Fizani apabila merasakan corak penceritaannya daripada aktiviti dan prinsip mereka, Zairol seolah-olah cuba memberitahu bahawa mereka bertiga adalah dari kalangan yang baik-baik dan berdisiplin kuat. Ia seperti satu amaran halus buat pendatang baru Fizani agar tidak menganggu ekosistem sempurna di pangsapuri sewa itu.
"Ada dua kepantangan mak aku", Zairol dengan tiba-tiba menceritakan kepantangan ibunya sambil menunjukkan jari telunjuk dan jari tengah nya. "Pertama, bawak perempuan naik atas. Kedua, nangka."
"Nangka?", soal Fizani kehairanan. Kalau yang pertama itu faham jugalah dia.
"Angin. Tak tahan dia. Seulas pun mau demam 2 hari."
Monday, November 23, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Dunia Dalam Satu Gambar
a)Lelaki berhooded coklat menggambarkan golongan kapitalis yang sentiasa mengira keuntungan walaupun rakyatnya (baju putih lengan hijau) tertindas. Kakinya menyerangkah menghalang rakyat dari akses kepada bekalan makanan. Tiada wang tiada makanan.
b)Berbaju putih lengan hijau tidur di atas lantai menggambarkan golongan yang ditindas tetapi tetap angkuh, berpeluk tubuh tanpa mahu berusaha, atas nama anarki. ini boleh disamakan dengan golongan 'on the dole' di England, yang biasanya akan menyertai kumpulan punk dan skinhead. Membantah tindakan kerajaan memberi pekerjaan kepada warga asing tetapi pada masa yang sama malas untuk bekerja.
c)Yang berbaring atas katil ini dinamakan pseudo-pembela rakyat. Menggambarkan diri seperti ditindas, tetapi sebenarnya dilimpahi keselesaan (digambarkan dengan penggunaan bantal berlebihan) hasil titik peluh rakyat (yang mengambil gambar). Lantang dalam memperjuangkan nasib rakyat kurang bernasib baik, tetapi mengambil kesempatan atas publisiti yang diberikan. Lihat sajalah boxer yang mahal itu.
d)Dan lelaki dihadapan PC mewakili golongan freethinker dan hedonist yang semakin bertambah di dunia ini hari demi hari. Keengganan untuk berpakaian dan menggunakan muzik untuk mengekspresi diri melambangkan gaya hidup bebas dan hippie golongan ini. Seperti bagaimana mereka tidak pedulikan hal sekeliling, begitulah juga orang ramai tidak mempedulikan mereka.
.....
Kalau anda perasan, mereka ini adalah golongan minoriti sebenarnya. Rakyat normal, yakni majoriti, tidak dipaparkan dalam gambar ini atas 'nature' rakyat biasa itu sendiri. Golongan-golongan di dalam gambar ini adalah yang biasanya menjadi fokus utama. Kisah mereka ini disensasikan, lalu menjadi tatapan rakyat biasa. Jadi kerana itu lah rakyat biasa tidak dipaparkan kerana sedang mengambil gambar ini.
Ataupun mungkin sedang mandi di ampaian.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Syarat Malam-malam Raya
Setelah aku perhatikan industri televisyen tempatan ni, aku dapat mengenalpasti corak drama yang dipaparkan terutama sekali menjelang, atau pada hari raya. Biasanya pada malam raya, akan ada satu drama di TV (kalau bernasib baik, dua) akan disiarkan sebagai hiburan orang ramai di kala menganyam ketupat.
Berikut merupakan 10 perkara yang boleh didapati dalam drama tempatan, samada salah satu atau kesemuanya sekali.
1. Rosyam Nor
2. Mesti cerita tentang kekeluargaan.
3. Diakhiri dengan kematian, dan selalunya pada pagi raya. Kadang-kadang satu keluarga mati.
4. Keluarga itu biasanya keluarga yang susah, duduk di kampung dalam keadaan daif.
5. Rosyam Nor
6. Dalam adik-beradik yang ramai, biasanya mesti seorang sahaja yang elok perangai (protagonis). Adik-beradik lain semuanya berperangai jijik, lupa diri, tak berperikemanusiaan dan memandu Mercedes.
7. Protagonis biasanya akan tertindas sepanjang cerita, sehinggalah perkara no. 3 berlaku dan mereka yang menindas sebelum ini akan menangis kesesalan. Termasuklah penonton di rumah.
8. Kampung yang dipilih biasanya di Kuala Selangor, supaya tak perlu menukar loghat.
9. Dan pada ketika no. 7 berlaku, kesemua perkara yang dirahsiakan oleh protagonis akan di uraikan, lalu bertambah sedih.
10. Roy Azman sebagai watak tepi.
Berikut merupakan 10 perkara yang boleh didapati dalam drama tempatan, samada salah satu atau kesemuanya sekali.
1. Rosyam Nor
2. Mesti cerita tentang kekeluargaan.
3. Diakhiri dengan kematian, dan selalunya pada pagi raya. Kadang-kadang satu keluarga mati.
4. Keluarga itu biasanya keluarga yang susah, duduk di kampung dalam keadaan daif.
5. Rosyam Nor
6. Dalam adik-beradik yang ramai, biasanya mesti seorang sahaja yang elok perangai (protagonis). Adik-beradik lain semuanya berperangai jijik, lupa diri, tak berperikemanusiaan dan memandu Mercedes.
7. Protagonis biasanya akan tertindas sepanjang cerita, sehinggalah perkara no. 3 berlaku dan mereka yang menindas sebelum ini akan menangis kesesalan. Termasuklah penonton di rumah.
8. Kampung yang dipilih biasanya di Kuala Selangor, supaya tak perlu menukar loghat.
9. Dan pada ketika no. 7 berlaku, kesemua perkara yang dirahsiakan oleh protagonis akan di uraikan, lalu bertambah sedih.
10. Roy Azman sebagai watak tepi.
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